Why women are afraid of commitment, and how to overcome that fear
Stereotypically, it is men who are said to be afraid of commitment – everyone jokes about how guys have to be dragged to the altar. In truth, both men and women carry a lot of baggage that makes it difficult for them to commit to someone else, but that baggage varies a lot between the sexes.
So if you’re looking to date a woman, you need to understand those fears in order to conquer them if you want to go further than just a couple of casual dates.
A common fear amongst women is that they are ‘not good enough’ for men. A particular way in which this fear is expressed is through their attitude towards their physical appearance (“I’m too fat”, “this haircut is terrible”, “I can’t find anything to wear”).
A lot of men take the tack that this is just fishing for compliments and brush these concerns aside or begin to treat this attitude with a little bit of contempt. But think for a second what it must be like for women who are presented day in day out with impossible images of perfection and a corresponding pressure to live up to them. They live with a terrible fear that they will always be rejected for their failings, rather than find acceptance for their good points.
So like anyone of either sex with a problem, a friendly ear is always appreciated. It shouldn’t be a chore to listen to someone’s fears – instead, think of it as a human gesture to help someone who, just like you has their own problems.
A good way to do this is to steer conversations towards more positive grounds. When a conversation around their shortcomings comes up, find a positive attribute and talk about that instead. If she’s feeling a bit frumpy because she hasn’t been to the gym, then talk about her eyes or her hair.
These little things will slowly overcome her fear (that secretly you don’t like her) and build a belief that she is worth something to you. If she has had experience of poor relationships with men in the past, showing her that not all men are unfeeling and judgmental will boost her confidence in herself and consequently in you as a couple.
