Online dating: Picture perfect
10 tips for perfecting your online dating profile photo
When you’re scrolling through members’ ads on a dating site, what makes you stop and go “ooh, hello”? A witty user name, or the opening line of a profile? No. You stop because you fancy someone’s face.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, a great online dating profile photo is worth a million. Experts reckon that a dating profile with a picture is 20 times more likely to get a response than one without a picture. Twenty times? That sounds like a conservative estimate. Many daters won’t even look at an ad without a photo. In their minds, the lack of pic means: “I am ugly”, “I am married” or “I am wanted for murder in 10 countries”.
So if you want to find love online, putting a photo of yourself on the internet (albeit within the secure confines of a dating site) is a necessary evil. And to stand out from the crowd, you need that make that photo a good’un. Here’s how.
1. Find a friend with a camera
Unless you’re a photographic whiz who knows how to do a great self-portrait, get a sympathetic friend or family member to take your photo. Ideally this person will be handy with a camera. Even better, they’ll take 200 digital snaps of you and let you spend ages at their computer choosing the best.
2. Get the light right
Professional snappers throw big bucks at expensive lighting, and for good reason. Light makes all the difference between a flattering photo and one that makes you look like Shrek. Luckily, you don’t need expensive lights to get a flattering effect. Just avoid bright camera flashes and harsh sunlight, which do nothing for your complexion. The most flattering light is gentle daylight from a nearby window.
3. Look and smile
Eye contact and smiling are the two most powerful ways to flirt without words, whether you’re in a bar or online. Someone is far more likely to be attracted to your photo if you’re looking at the camera and smiling. But don’t overdo it. A cheesy grin is nerdy and over-keen, and a direct stare is more aggressive than alluring. Think about the personality you want to project, and reflect it in your facial expression.
4. Don’t post a photo that’s too flattering
It’s not difficult, with nice light, flattering angles and handy software, to make yourself look like a supermodel in a photo. Great – that’ll really get the punters rolling in. But when your date turns up to find that you don’t look like that, their disappointment may wreck your chances. Similarly, don’t post a photo in which you’re 15 years younger and 15 pounds lighter than you are now.
5. Go through your holiday snaps
Most good dating sites allow you to upload several profile photos. Along with the main one, post photos that show you at your best and reveal something (good) about your personality. In these days of digital photography, holidays, parties and other social occasions should be a rich seam of portraits.
6. Choose the pics yourself
Ask friends and family if you’re having trouble choosing the best photos, but ultimately it’s your choice. If a potential date compliments your profile photo and you say, “I hate that one, my Mum chose it,” don’t blame me if they never write back.
7. Don’t overdo the make-up
A touch of lippy and mascara can enhance your features, but too much will make you look as though you’ve stumbled out of the red-light district. Especially if you’re a man. Don’t wear any more make-up than you would in real life. The most successful women’s profiles have photos that are pretty rather than obnoxiously sexy.
8. Keep your clothes on
Cleavage and pecs are not a good look in profile photos. As with too much make-up, too few clothes and a soft-porn pose make you look desperate and fake. If you really want to show off your flesh to strangers, ask Google – there are thousands of websites for that kind of thing. If you want to get a date, keep your shirt on.
9. Throw in a photo that’s not of you
If you’re allowed to post several secondary photos, include one that illustrates something about you – but isn’t of you. It makes you look less egotistical, and offers a point of conversation. The photo could be of a favourite travel destination, or your pet dog, or your garden… anything that’s meaningful to you. However, don’t post more than one or two non-you photos, or you’ll seem to lack confidence. And keep it legit: the photo shouldn’t be of another person, and you mustn’t go nicking copyrighted photos.
10. Stick to the rules
Websites’ rules about profile photos are usually obvious. For example, your main profile photo can’t be of your hand, or of you in silhouette. This seems unfair when plenty of people get away with posting no profile photo at all, but them’s the breaks. Read your site’s rules, and don’t waste your time trying to break them – every photo is checked by the customer service team before it’s published.
